Ned Mueller...Some thoughts on one Artists convoluted road of failure, travail and success...or what seemed to work for me! This was first  published in my Oil Painters of America Blog this month and thought it would be of some interest to everyone. 

I have been teaching Art for over 50 years and Drawing and Painting for 75 years..where did the time go?! Like most people I have certainly had my ups and downs and now that most of my life is behind me..I have the tendency to reflect and think about what the heck happened! I was fortunate to get a lot of support from my family, friends and most teachers...drawing was my favorite thing to do, other than sports and most of the first half of my life revolved around either or both of those activities, along with backpacking and traveling this wonderful world that we live in. I never had much confidence in myself when I was younger..mostly just  a very curious and competitive nature while being raised in southwest Montana...surrounded by mountains, just North of Yellowstone Park...  and hanging out with some great friends helped me get through a lot. I have heard some horrible stories of people who were not allowed to follow their passion for a whole lot of reasons...probably with good reason..as for most of us it takes many years of hard work to get anywhere good at it...unless we were one of the lucky ones blessed with suburb talent, genes  and maybe a trust fund or two!  I had a little of the talent...one of my great uncles was one of the countries better sculptors...I was very competitive..inspired mostly from lack of self esteem and on the flip side from a fairly poor family, which isn't always such a detriment in small town America. Most of us seem to have a mixture of positive and negative influences whether we want them or not and I think the bottom line is...we really must have the love for doing whatever it may be as that what can carry is through all rejections, tragedies and disappointments so many of may have to endure.

Growing up in Montana..I was not aware of any great Artist role models..probably more due to my lack of initiative to find any...we had Charlie Russell and that was about it! That era from 1940 to 1980's we were fortunate to have so many great magazines and books mostly chock full of some very great Illustrations, a lot of it great Art...done by some really great Artists!! We didn't have the  great museums as in New York, Chicago, Los Angeles and the other great cities of the world..so those magazines, for me were a wealth of inspiration and I kind of wanted to make pictures...but deep down I felt that I could not ever be able to do that. PHOTOS- ONE, TWO AND THREE.

I kind of wandered around for my first 17 years..dreaming, but somewhat disillusioned of what I could do with my life, and won't go into all of those details here ( a long story) ..but my Father ( we did not see eye to eye on much- another very long story), but he finally got it out of me what I would really like to do..to become an Illustrator...and he told me to give it a chance..but to try and get into the very best Art School that I could get into...he was vey competitive also...and as those were the people I would have to match to make a go of it! Well we both researched around for the Art Schools and living in Northern California decided that the Art Center School in Los Angeles seemed to fit that bill. So, we drove down to L.A. and had an interview with them...I put together a rather shabby  portfolio of my drawings and a few paintings ...I figured that there was no way that I could get accepted...woe is me..yet, they seemed to be impressed..irregardless of my lack of faith in myself, and not only accepted me (Art Center was and still is one of the hardest Art Schools to get into...and also one of the hardest to graduate because of its high standards...if you didn't quite meet those standards..you were politely asked to leave!) On top of being accepted and because of our rather poor status..I was also offered a full scholarship after the first three semesters! A semester was an ourtrageous $410 back in the early sixties..I think its about $30,000 a semester now..don't hold me to that. We from Montana have a tendency to exaggerate at times! 

So..anyways..I managed to graduate..a wonderful experience...surrounded by such great students and friends and best of all,the instructors we're all working Professionals..who knew what it took to succeed at what ever program you chose...one of their premier offers was Automotive Design and all the Detroit Car companies..got most of their top designers from Art Center and also  sent promising students to the school. Certainly, in hindsight I know that so many other Artists, for so many reasons, were not that fortunate.  Right around my graduation, Autumn of 1963, they had the draft then and so I had to go into the service.. two of my best buddies and I joined the Marine Corps and the Vietnam War was just around the corner..needless to say..my experience was short lived and I got an Honorable Medical Discharge ( A mental and physical breakdown...another long story) and so missed that awful, misunderstood and devisive part of our history. Sorry for these distractions..but I think they are related to the struggle to keep trying...sometimes against great odds , and how I as an individual and with individual issues somewhat succeeded.  as in this case I was in a vegetable state, discharged, hospitalized and felt I had let myself and my country down and scared to death of what may happen!  I was lucky to have friends  and family to get back on my feet again. Eventually I got a job as a laborer, then a carpenter, and to work as a Postal Carrier..a wayward Art Student..not knowing what the hell to do! I at least had the sense to go to some Life Drawing sessions at night,  twice a week to keep my hand in the game and slowly regained some confidence to the point I was going out with my portfolio to Ad agencies, book and magazine publishers..what ever seem related to my goal of being an Illustrator/Artist..I had some pretty darn good skills..but not much confidence to go with them! This is where my main theme of trying to succeed comes in..I call them the three P's! Passion, Perserverance and Patience..not that I was endowed so greatly with them all..but at least had some of them and mostly less of the Patience one..Perserverance,  being a lot of stubborn...and Passion..wanting to be able to eat!   PHOTOS FOUR , FIVE AND SIX    PARAGRAPH HERE: It took me about two years to where I was slowly going out to agencies, publishers and a couple of galleries, that I was getting assignments...hearing that I would get a call for this assignment or that...but, discovering that once out of sight..I was pretty much out of mind as their was a pretty constant flow of other Artists knocking constantly at their door..pretty much the same with the galleries. This is where the perserverance comes into play and the love of what we want to do...some are so gifted...that THEY  are getting the knock on the door or phone call but for most of us..that is not the case.   PHOTOS SEVEN, EIGHT AND NINE.... Around this time, I was also taking workshops from the very best Artists that offered them..such as...Richard Schmid, Sergei Bongart, Harley Brown and Del Gish..and they gave me the confidence to teach my own workshops...which just by having to put painting into words.as best one can...really helped me to vizualize my own work better and helped to pay the bills!!.and as I improved over time and was invited into or applied to some of the better exhibitions with many of the very best Artists..I would get a few of the calls, from other shows and good galleries..needless to say...it sure is good for ones self esteem and that struggle for recognition is finally rewarded!  One of the very best Exhibitions in the country at that time..was the "Artists of America" show in Denver, Colorado...showcased the very best traditional/impressionistic work from all over and the show that everyone wanted to be in..the best collectors and gallery owners would fly in to see all of the fine work. One could apply to the show and they had a jury panel that would screen the work...and that would vary ever so often..I applied for about eight years and always got turned down..but finally..because of new jurors maybe...I did get selected and was even invited to give a demonstration at the show...to say the least, very grateful, humble and nervous throughout, as I was in the presence of so many of my heroes and other great Artists. The director of the show, bought one of my paintings.. PHOTO TEN.I didn't think it could get much better than that! Unfortunately, because sales were down..the Exhibition closed the following year! I got into some other top shows and looking back...I feel very fortunate that I was able to experience, what for me was some recognition after 30 years of ups and downs and trying to do my very best. After overcoming so much..I figured that my last few years would just be spent enjoying creating, pretty much what I wanted to, and whenever I wanted to,,but alas, I had to face some of the biggest challenges of my life when about eight years ago, an old football back injury caught up with me, I  had excrutiating pain that use to go away and this time did not...I had to have back surgery...and when I woke up..I knew something was not quite right..but went into instant denial..I had an almost dead left leg and in chronic pain..another long story and told that another surgery might fix it...did not happen and with my denial..I thought I could just keep charging forward, doing the shows, galleries and a lot of Plein Air shows...hiking and painting packtrips and still traveling the world a bit...suffered a lot more than I should have..but also keeping busy and working on my painting, also helped me to think less of the pain. After about four years of that nonsense...I finally started to accept being marginalized..some of the denial still lingers on and I have learned and accepted..along with being 80 years old, and in love with a most wonderful woman that really cares about me, accepts me and herds me around when I certainly need it! I guess it helps that she herded and ran a dairy farm for her sick uncle when she was just a teenager! Recently I have blessed with this rare disease, "auto immune pancreatitus"..not life threatening, but mostly have to watch what I eat, drink..and as I love to eat all the great foods of the world and love a  beer or wine ever so much..I am still adjusting to all of that! Yes, I do feel sorry for myself at times...other issues also to be dealt with, but guess I would be crazy if I didn't...but my love of painting, and Karen are my great blessings and so I perservere on and am still challenging myself to do a better work of Art than the last one..not really true as I still manage to do some real clunkers, but try and cut those down with more time with working out value and color studies....PHOTOS ELEVEN, TWELVE AND THIRTEEN...My  Productivity is down..but very grateful to still be able to do what I love the most! Trying to think of a moral to this story is...maybe you can come up with something better? I have included a few sample of my work from my teen years up to present day...overall it seems to be getting better..yet some of my older work from twenty years ago, kind of seems like some of my best...probably from painting almost everyday and trying to keep up with the high standards of some of the great shows I was fortunate to be  part of..not sure. Thanks for getting this far and bearing with most of my story..I only hope that with whatever travails you have to deal with...you can find some inspiration, hope and solace in your own work!